Why Self Love Matters– At ANY Weight

Do you ever look in the mirror and think things like:

I hate my thighs.

If only I were thinner I’d be happy.

My belly is so gross.

Here’s what I want you to know…

We think that being disgusted with our bodies motivates us to take action, but if we are creating motivation from the foundation of hate, we will generate more hate.

When we do this, even when we get to our goal, there will still be more hate. Maybe even more because we’ve been focusing on hate consistently so we’ve given it room to grow and take up space in our lives.

If you create motivation from a place of love, you create more love. And this is why loving yourself exactly as you are today is so important to getting long term results- in ANY area of life.

You can love yourself and still want to change, but notice how things feel in your body when you shift from a thought like:

I’m so disgusting.

To

I’m committed to taking exceptional care of myself.

Notice the difference?

It’s a game changer.

When we offer more love to ourselves we realize that WE BECOME exactly what we need. We then create results from a place of patience, compassion, and the creation of more love.

My challenge for you is this- practice thoughts of self love. Practice believing you are worthy. And practice disregarding negative body thoughts that come into your head.

You are so worthy already!

My #1 Tip for Losing Weight For Good!

Hi Friends! Are you ready for this?

My #1 tip for losing weight for good is this … stick to a plan that works FOR YOU!

I know you may be rolling your eyes here but read this again- stick to a plan that works FOR YOU!

The FOR YOU part is what makes this different because we are all humans with different preferences, and the plan that may have someone else svelte and slim in a few weeks may have you wishing someone would stab you in the eye with a sharp stick. Can you relate (cough #juicecleanse)?

What makes a plan effective is one you can stick with AND get results. PERIOD. And while this may sound rudimentary it’s actually not. It’s actually magic. 😉

Your mission when cracking your personal weight loss code is to be an expert on YOU! So if tracking macros or carbs or points or clean foods or voodoo dolls helps you feel amazing and gets you results then rock on, my friend!

However, what you may not know if you are still struggling is that your perfect plan may have some elements of a traditional plan but with exceptions that work for you.


For example I love frozen yogurt. Having it at my favorite place- even though it claims to be #lowcalorie and #lowcarb —makes my weight spike the next day. So I don’t eschew it forever but I keep it to once per week. See what I mean?

Where we go wrong is when we get into all or nothing thinking that because we “can’t have (food we love) we are therefore suffering and must devour it every time we are sad or lonely or feeling deprived.” 😭😭😭

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Here’s how this works: Decide today you are never going to quit on your plan, but you WILL follow the plan that WORKS for you AND INCLUDES what you love.

Follow the plan.

Monitor results.

Even if your weight loss was slower than anticipated if you were able to stick with it long-term, and never yo-yo again how would life be different for you?🤔

How confident would you be if you knew that all this time, you were the one with all the power– not a canned plan?


If you need help figuring out what this would look like for you then DM me! Don’t waste another day waiting to get your goal! You CAN do this for good!❤️ 

Gratitude Challenge: Day 1: Someone I am Grateful For!

It’s hard for me to pick just one person because I’m truly grateful for so many people. And since I tend to be a rebel, I am going to make my own rule here.

The someone for me is a collective. Over the years, I’ve collected friendships with women in my life, who have help mold me into the woman I am today. I have shared secrets, cried, laughed, celebrated and mourned with them all.

When things are off in life, we reach out to each other. When things are great we may send an emoji or celebration text. When life allows, we show up in person, and that’s when the real fun begins.

We live far apart mostly, and while I may only see these women every year or so, we keep in touch through social media and our cell phones– thank you technology.

Maintaining distance friendships can be a challenge for some, but for me, having a few solid female relationships in my life of women I can truly depend on, makes a world of difference.

How about you? Who is someone you are grateful for?

30 Days of Gratitude

Our brains love to have something to focus on. Believe it or not, our brains like to work– to have a job. For the last two months, the job our brains have been doing a lot of work processing information about a virus we don’t know a lot about. Every day there is something new, so we have been glued to live updates to learn more. This is our brains new job- learn the things, stay safe, don’t die. Got it.

While I am with you in this, I think we can do better. He’s how.

If we create more of whatever we focus on, when we spend all of our energy focusing on the pandemic, we create more thoughts and feelings about the pandemic.

Thoughts like “this is the end!;” “who is getting it next?;” “am I going to die?”

Guess what these thoughts create? FEAR! TERROR! ANXIETY!

Instead, I wanted to offer your brain a new job. For the next 30 days starting today (April 4th), join me for 30 days of Gratitude. This means that if you are in the bay area, where we are sheltering–in-place. Each day between now and the end of the order (May 3rd), you will have an opportunity to find something you are grateful for. Think of it as your Gratitude-in-Place order instead.

When we focus on gratitude, we bring more amazing feelings into the world. Feelings like LOVE! COMPASSION! GENEROSITY!

Each day, I will post one of the prompts from the Gratitude Challenge, and share with you what I am grateful for. I offer this because the more we can focus on what we are grateful for, the more gratitude we will share with the world.

I invite you to join me on this journey, and share it with your friends as well.

Let’s see if we can not only shelter-in-place, but Gratitude-In-Place as well.

What to do When Your World Feels Like it’s Spinning out of Control.

Do you ever feel like when a few things are out of your control that it’s easy to let EVERYTHING feel like it’s out of control?

My hand is raised!

As soon as I heard that a shelter-in-place warning was issued, I had a sudden urge to eat ALL OF THE FOOD.

I thought things like:

  • This is the end.
  • I have to get it now while it’s still here.
  • There may never be X again. And when I say x, of course I mean fro yo.

So what did I do when I heard that I would be confined to nowhere but my home for the next two weeks? I did what every other human in the world did, ran to my favorite shop and got a frozen yogurt the size of my head… and I ate it.

Then I got home and started thinking about how I want to be in this situation.

I realized that I may not have control over the government, or orders to stay in one place or the other, but I can sure as hell control what I put in my mouth, what I choose to focus on, how I nourish my mind, and how I use my body.

I decided that instead of freaking out and spinning on all the negative thoughts I just listed above, I would instead to decide to choose calm and balance in this time.

For so many people, times like these feel like all or nothing. We think that because we can’t have access to gyms, or because we can’t get the brand of almond milk we are used to that we may as throw the baby out with the bathwater.

But what if instead we focused on all we DO have access to:

  • Fresh air
  • Clean Water
  • YouTube videos with home workouts
  • Free meditation apps (I use insight timer)
  • A hair brush and shower (don’t let working from home bring out your funk 😉
  • Pen and paper to write a letter to a friend or relative

What if we focused our time on what we can accomplish?

What if we started actually doing things on our to-do list?

If you are spinning, then I encourage you to stop right now and ask yourself this question, “what is 100% within my control today?”

Now write down your answers and make a list of everything you CAN do!

Changing your thinking changes everything, my friends.

If you’d like to schedule a free 30 minute solution session with me to discover how you can get back in control, click here to access my personal calendar.

Are You Either Restricting or Bingeing? Here’s Why, and How You Can Stop.

I used to feel crazy around food all the time– like something was wrong with me.

I was either dieting, white-knuckling, undereating, over-exercising, or bingeing.

I wanted to lose weight and maintain my weight loss, but …

The obsession just never stopped.

If you can relate, then I want to tell you why this is happening.

In 1944, Ancel Keys ran a study called the Minnesota Starvation Experiment.

Essentially he took 36 conscientious war objectors during WWII who were willing to starve themselves in lieu of signing up for service, and starved them for 6 months during a 12 month experiment.

The first three months the men were fed what would be considered their maintenance calories (3200 per day), then for 6 months the men were fed 50% of their maintenance calories, averaging 1600 calories a day, and then for 3 months after, they were rehabilitated with increased calories (different groups had different caloric levels for rehabilitation).

So, let me tell you about some of the symptoms the men in the study experienced…

  • Obsessive thoughts about food
  • Desire to lengthen meals/eating times so their food would last longer, add water, volume to their food to be more filling
  • Fascination with collecting recipes about food when they had never been interested in food before
  • Dream, read, talk and fantasize about food
  • Licked their plates (ummmmm– guilty).
  • Noise during mealtimes was bothersome and disturbing
  • One man reported chewing up to 40 packs of gum a day
  • One man cut off three fingers and later didn’t remember why.
  • Subjects experienced severe emotional distress and depression.
  • And the list goes on.

I’m sharing this because while there were over 400 men who volunteered for this experiment, only 36 were considered to be in well enough mental, physical and emotional state to participate.

Men who had never had issues with food, suddenly became OBSESSED!

Here’s where it gets even more interesting.

In the rehabilitation (refeeding) phase, men reported eating in excess:

  • Multiple milk shakes a day.
  • Eating caloric loads in excess of the planned 3200 per day. In some cases men ate up to 11,000 calories a day for many days of their rehabilitation.
  • 12 men stayed for an extra 8 weeks to continue to be monitored, consuming 5000 calories a day steadily.
  • Many participants reported feeling a sensation of hunger months after the rehabilitation.
  • Unsatisfied cravings even when their stomachs were filled.

The fascinating thing about this study is that the collective “we” as a culture don’t identify dieting as starvation, but look at the number of calories they were eating in a “starvation experiment” compared to what would be eaten on a diet.

I know many women who think they should eat the equivalent for their bodies (1200 calories) to lose weight, and then beat themselves up for not being able to stick to it.

In fact, we applaud people when they lose weight by starving.

“You did the HCG diet and ate 500 calories a day and lost weight (and your period)– Good for you!”

So you decide to take a day off because it’s your birthday, or you hit your goal weight, and your body is rejoicing “YAY! The famine is over!

It eats (more than you think it should) because it is feasting to both compensate for the past restriction, and it is preparing for the next famine, which you train it to do by restricting again the next day.

Poor body. It just wants to be fed, so it can keep you alive.

So, here’s where we go wrong…

We tell ourselves that something is wrong with us!!!

We blame our willpower, and suddenly we label ourselves as “bingers” or “emotional eaters.”

We think our bodies are broken for not behaving how we want them to; for not being sated on air, and keeping us youthful, glowing and skinny so everyone will love us, think we are fabulous and beautiful, while on the inside we are starving and going to punch the lady in accounting for bringing in donuts– don’t you know flour and sugar are the devil, Karen!?

I digress.

So how to we stop these extremes?

We open our eyes to the fact that there is a beautiful rainbow of options available to us.

So many of us have our blinders on that we don’t realize that if we just look to the right or the left, we can experience our lives, our bodies, and our relationship with food in a new way.

What this means in practicality is that you have to hit the pause button.

A LOT!

Your brain will love to tell you stories of the past because it’s like “NOOOOO– don’t go do that new thing because that’s a lot of work for me, and I’d rather be safe and wrapped comfortably in this warm, cozy chinchilla blanket from Z-Gallerie, so if you do something that makes me change, I’m gonna stomp and scream like a 2-year old screaming for a Snickers in the check-out stand of the supermarket, mmm-kay?”

Everytime the chatter comes up- hit pause, and ask yourself this question…

If I had balance in my life when it came to food and eating and weight and body, what would that look like?

What are things I can do today to support that change?

What are the crappy thoughts my brain offers me that would get me to turn away from this work?

What would be something empowering to say back to my brain to keep me focused on creating this balance?

After the Minnesota Starvation Experiment, the men went back to their natural body weights. Even the men who ate excessively. Even the men who ate 11,000 calories a day. They all went back to normal.

What if instead of extremes, you just went back to normal?

You don’t have to live in crazy land if you don’t want to.

Choice is yours.

How to Awaken Your Intuition

“Follow Your Heart”

Trust Your Intuition”

“… most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” – Steve Jobs

Such great thoughts, right?

Intuition is my word of the year, so I am fascinated by the concept of inner guidance.

The greatest thing I’ve learned thus far is that we are all actually really intuitive creatures, but we block our intuition because of one thing.

Want to know what it is?

Fear.

Here’s the fascinating thing…Every once in a while our brains will provide ideas.

They will offer suggestions, maybe in the shower, or in a space when you are in rest or receptivity.

However, many people aren’t tuning into these sensations because they are busying their lives with extra (overwork, overeating, overdrinking, overscheduling) things that fill our brains and bodies so our vibrations become weak.

Ever notice how when you are ravenous you can sense your feelings a lot stronger than you can after Thanksgiving dinner?

When we are in a place of openness, our brains can create (an invention, wealth, good health, relationships, family, vacation, fill in the blank), and guide us to desires we truly want.

But if we haven’t experienced this desire before, our brains become afraid and shut it down.

So how do we get over this?

Here’s how:

  1. Create space. This can be in mediation, yoga, journal writing, a walk outdoors, or silence in your car. Pause and ask yourself what you really want.
  2. Practice listening. The way we get good at anything is through practice. It doesn’t matter if it’s playing the piano, learning to make a perfect souffle or manifesting your dream future, you have to practice.
  3. Start small to build trust. Building trust with ourselves takes time. So start with a low-hanging fruit, little things that only matter to you, and then gradually work your way up to bigger items.

I started doing this and realized that my intuition guides me on fun, creative journeys on everything from exploring new foods to getting bangs at my most recent haircut.

While it can seem daunting to take on something new; something that feels like fear.

Just remember, fear is only a feeling

It is just a vibration– it’s like a wave, it comes on strong, but it also falls, and dissolves.

Awakening your inner wisdom allows for life experiences in fascinating new ways, so I encourage you to take a bold step: create space, practice listening, and start building trust with yourself.

I promise, your intuitive wisdom is waiting to show you something amazing.

If you’d like to take this work to a deeper level, feel free to message me, comment or click here for a free 30 minute solution session with me.

Have an amazing day, friends!

What’s Your Word of The Year?

Image may contain: possible text that says 'AND Word of the year: INTUITION'

Someone asked me recently if I had a word of the year, and I definitely DO, so I thought I’d share it with you and tell you why this matters. .

My word is intuition. While we all kind of know that intuition means following your gut, if you want to get technical it means “a thing someone knows likely from instinct rather than conscious reasoning.” Thank you Merriam Webster.

I chose intuition this year because throughout my life I have been all about conscious reasoning. I historically have always chosen the logical choice over my gut check.

Using this method has brought me a lot of good in life- I have a great education, I’ve lost and kept off 80 pounds, etc.

However, I’ve also noticed that I’ve grown very comfortable being highly rigid. When things are out of my control or comfort zone I withdrawal. I tend to freak out when things aren’t part of my plan, and have anxiety if I can’t anticipate every next move.

While flexibility could have been a word I chose for this year, I chose intuition because I think that learning to trust yourself is a huge gift, and one that I have not fully surrendered to yet.

Following my gut, my intuitive nature, and letting that lead me even when it’s a little scary will be my work for this year. 💕

So what’s your word?

When you pause, close your eyes, and think of the intention you’d like to set for this year, what is it?

Post your word of the year below! I’d love to hear about all of the intentions we are creating in 2020.

Keys for Turning Small Habits into Amazing Transformations

As humans, the hardest thing to do is to change, right?

We all want to snap our fingers and POOF! 💨 We’re suddenly at our goal!🏆

The truth is that change is challenging because it requires you to become a new person.

You have to become the person who does the thing you want instead of being the person who wishes they had the thing.🤯

So let me ask you… who do you want to BE this year?
What is the 1️⃣ thing you are willing to change to become her?

I am only asking for one because one is all that is required for transformation to begin. 😊

So here are my Key’s to creating small habits for amazing transformations :

1️⃣Get Specific: I will workout 15 minutes 3 times a week; or I will calendar an hour every week to go grocery shopping so I always have healthy food options available; etc. Avoid generics here, things like “I will be healthier” or “I will love myself more”. While those things are good, how do you know once you’ve hit those goals? GET CRYSTAL CLEAR.

2️⃣On a confidence scale of 1-10, with 10 high, you are at least an 8 that you will get it done. You have to believe that you will stick with it. 👊 If you are less than an 8, revise the goal to something you WOULD stick with.

3️⃣Create an intention around your new habit that you focus on every day. Our brains want to focus only on what is easy and will offer you a million reasons why you shouldn’t stick with your goal. Your job is to talk back— successful people talk to themselves more than they listen to themselves.

4️⃣Evidence. Every day find evidence of what you did right. At the end of the day write down what went well, and keep a running list of what you are doing right so you can give your brain something new to focus on.

So start today, friends. Don’t wait another moment to make the change– your future self is waiting. If you need help getting clear feel free to DM me. ❤️

Thanksgiving Intention

Happy Thanksgiving!
I know, it’s technically tomorrow, but if you’re anything like me, your brain is going a 1000 miles a minute getting ready for the big day. 🙂

So take a deep breath. Relax.

And tell me, what is your Thanksgiving Day plan?

We all get to decide:
1. We can do nothing and create results that we’ve created in the past.
2. We can set an intention to make this Thanksgiving whatever we want (including, creating THE BEST THANKSGIVING DAY EVER!!!!).

If you selected option 2, then keep reading.

When people think about making a plan, sometimes they go to extremes, thinking they have to have a perfect food plan that fits within their dietary structure.

But what if instead, your intention this Thanksgiving was simply something like:
Showing up for yourself with love.

What would that look like?

What would your compassionate future self say to you for this one day?

Would she say, “go all out, eat everything?”
Would she say, “be gracious, and enjoy in moderation?”
Would she say, “practice kindness to yourself, it’s just one meal?”

Here’s the thing– there are no right or wrong answers here. You get to decide exactly what you want for yourself.

What if you just wanted this Thanksgiving to be 5% better than last year? (Remember: this is totally an option– click here to get my Special Occasion Solution, which will help guide you on doing this holiday with intention!)

Decide today what you want for yourself, and follow the wisdom of your future self. She is always right.

When my clients learn to tune into their future selves, it is like they flip a switch, and they move from indecision (which for many turned into binge eating) during the holidays to 100% love, and navigating holiday events while still getting results!

If are unsure of how to get there, click here to schedule a solution session with me, where I can help you get 100% clear on your goals.

Have a beautiful Thanksgiving, friends!

P.S.- I did a Facebook Live this week on How to Stop Letting Your Past Run You! If you’d like to watch it, click here. If you’d like to follow me on social media, Your can like my Facebook Page:https://www.facebook.com/thewendypardue or follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wendylost80/