Why Self Love Matters– At ANY Weight

Do you ever look in the mirror and think things like:

I hate my thighs.

If only I were thinner I’d be happy.

My belly is so gross.

Here’s what I want you to know…

We think that being disgusted with our bodies motivates us to take action, but if we are creating motivation from the foundation of hate, we will generate more hate.

When we do this, even when we get to our goal, there will still be more hate. Maybe even more because we’ve been focusing on hate consistently so we’ve given it room to grow and take up space in our lives.

If you create motivation from a place of love, you create more love. And this is why loving yourself exactly as you are today is so important to getting long term results- in ANY area of life.

You can love yourself and still want to change, but notice how things feel in your body when you shift from a thought like:

I’m so disgusting.

To

I’m committed to taking exceptional care of myself.

Notice the difference?

It’s a game changer.

When we offer more love to ourselves we realize that WE BECOME exactly what we need. We then create results from a place of patience, compassion, and the creation of more love.

My challenge for you is this- practice thoughts of self love. Practice believing you are worthy. And practice disregarding negative body thoughts that come into your head.

You are so worthy already!

If You Struggle With Self Love

I’m obsessed with Big Little Lies.

At first I wasn’t because the story between Celeste and Perry was difficult for me to watch.

If you’re not a fan, let me fill you in and explain how this is relevant to coaching.

Perry beat the shit out of Celeste- then they’d beat each other up, and then have wild, crazy sex.

Spoiler alert- at the end of season 1 Perry dies, and in Season 2, Celeste is recounting the past to her therapist.

She remembers the good times, the love.

She misses him.

Her therapist offers that she needs to move on and essentially tells her that she is glorifying a terrible relationship.

Here’s where it gets interesting. The therapists asks Celeste to remember a specific event where she was getting abused.

She recalled an event where Perry punched her in the stomach repeatedly.

Now the therapist asked her to imagine her friend Madeline in her position. Celeste imagines Madeline getting punched. With her eyes closed a look of horror crosses her face.

“NOOOO!!!!…. NOOOOOO!!!!…NOOOOO!!!!” She cries out, banging her fists on the table in front of her.

The idea of her own abuse was forgettable, emotionless, but the idea of a friend in the same situation brought fury.

Now let me ask you… What’s your Perry?

What is the thing you allow for yourself, but wouldn’t allow for a friend?

Is it how you talk to yourself?

Is it how you treat yourself?

What if a friend came to you with your situation? How would you respond?

For so many, it’s easy to offer compassion and empathy to a friend, but when it comes to ourselves we are hard, cold, stringent, unforgiving.

What if this was your wake up call? Your time for change?

If you’ve been beating yourself up, speaking unkind words, engaging in any kind of self deprecation or harm– isn’t it time for a change; time for compassion?

Think of yourself as your best friend, your child.

Respond to yourself as you would to them. Respond with love.

If what I’ve said resonates with you, and you are interested in taking this work to a deeper level, but not sure where to get started, click here to schedule a solution session with me.

Mastering Self Care

Let me guess- you’re getting the image of a spa, a massage, a bath. You’re thinking I’m going to tell you to go read a good book or take a nap, or do something tranquil, lavender-scented, and in a robe.

While I love all of those things I want to talk about mastering self care on a higher level today.

I will start with a personal story. I once had a job that was so stressful I lost my period. I know I have now officially lost all men. Ha ha! But it’s true! It was the only job I’ve ever had for less than 6 months and it was a dumpster fire from day 1.

I mention this because as a woman, there are times in life when I know sh*t is off– if I can’t sleep, I can’t eat (or I’m suddenly eating or drinking my face off excessively), and I don’t have a period, then those are signs to me that I need to step back, take a deep breath, and consider the grander context.

I coached myself, I had others coach me, but even when I did a good job getting the circumstances totally neutral– the cumulative circumstances were not healthy for me, and I decided to leave.

While self care and massages and books and naps and baths are all amazing things. Sometimes we have to take a step back and look at the larger picture of self care or how we are caring for ourselves.

Are you living in a constant state of panic?

Do you find that you have anxiety about your job?

Are you always worried about money?

Is your spending out of control and you’re living paycheck to paycheck? Or you’re living off borrowed cash?

Do you try to lose weight, but then keep overeating and beating yourself up for it?

Or do you overeat and then stress your body out by trying to “work it off” at the gym?

Are you allowing relationships in your life that are abusive?

Are you drinking every day to drown away your problems?

Some of these things may seem deep, extreme or shocking, but there are people who are living these realities, and then looking to have a massage to band-aid the problem.

In my coaching, I talk a lot about how your thoughts create your results. That’s true because how you are thinking about a situation will prove itself true.

However, there are times when it’s good to look at circumstances– the facts of the situation. How do you think about those facts?

Do you like your reason?

Is it caring? Is it loving?

If it’s caring and loving, then massage-on, my friends. But if it’s not, then it may be time to dig a little deeper. True self care, mastering self care means caring for all of the parts of our life.

You deserve true self care.