If You Struggle With Self Love

I’m obsessed with Big Little Lies.

At first I wasn’t because the story between Celeste and Perry was difficult for me to watch.

If you’re not a fan, let me fill you in and explain how this is relevant to coaching.

Perry beat the shit out of Celeste- then they’d beat each other up, and then have wild, crazy sex.

Spoiler alert- at the end of season 1 Perry dies, and in Season 2, Celeste is recounting the past to her therapist.

She remembers the good times, the love.

She misses him.

Her therapist offers that she needs to move on and essentially tells her that she is glorifying a terrible relationship.

Here’s where it gets interesting. The therapists asks Celeste to remember a specific event where she was getting abused.

She recalled an event where Perry punched her in the stomach repeatedly.

Now the therapist asked her to imagine her friend Madeline in her position. Celeste imagines Madeline getting punched. With her eyes closed a look of horror crosses her face.

“NOOOO!!!!…. NOOOOOO!!!!…NOOOOO!!!!” She cries out, banging her fists on the table in front of her.

The idea of her own abuse was forgettable, emotionless, but the idea of a friend in the same situation brought fury.

Now let me ask you… What’s your Perry?

What is the thing you allow for yourself, but wouldn’t allow for a friend?

Is it how you talk to yourself?

Is it how you treat yourself?

What if a friend came to you with your situation? How would you respond?

For so many, it’s easy to offer compassion and empathy to a friend, but when it comes to ourselves we are hard, cold, stringent, unforgiving.

What if this was your wake up call? Your time for change?

If you’ve been beating yourself up, speaking unkind words, engaging in any kind of self deprecation or harm– isn’t it time for a change; time for compassion?

Think of yourself as your best friend, your child.

Respond to yourself as you would to them. Respond with love.

If what I’ve said resonates with you, and you are interested in taking this work to a deeper level, but not sure where to get started, click here to schedule a solution session with me.