Lessons from the “Before” Trilogy

The truth is that our brains are conditioned to find fault in whatever situation we are in. In psychology this is referred to as negativity bias.
To cope, we create the construct (with our thoughts) that something else (there) is better than what we have (here).

This works for us psychologically because according to Dr.s Lisle and Goldhamer’s Motivational Triad, our brains are motivated to avoid pain, seek pleasure, and conserve energy.

While thinking requires little energy, action requires effort.

So in order to avoid doing things, simply thinking things satisfies our brain.

Further, future-tripping, aka “prospection” allows relief the current situation to “improve psychological well-being.”

So how do we change?

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Cancer, WHAT!?

October 2017 I received the worst news of my life. After a year of trying to get pregnant and subsequent fertility treatments, I experienced a miscarriage.

I won’t go into the details of that experience other than to say that I was so embarrassed at the time, that I kept the news a secret.

I went to work the following day and the days following my miscarriage even though on the inside I was a complete wreck.

In the months following, some people close to me shared that they had also been through a miscarriage, and before I knew it people were coming out of the woodwork with their stories.

Looking back I lamented that I’d been so tight-lipped about it, but it also taught me that the next time something significant happened in my life I wouldn’t go through the motions alone.

Symptoms

Back in June of this year, I started noticing that I was having changes in my digestion. While I’m not one to publically share about my bodily functions, let’s just say that things were different, and my usual morning “constitutional” was suddenly not normal.

Please check out the image I’ve included and contact your doctor if you have any of these symptoms.

While I wasn’t initially alarmed, I did think that it was something to speak to my doctor about.

As fate would have it, the beginning of July, even after getting vaccinated, I got COVID.

My doctor asked me about symptoms, and I recalled those related to the virus, as well as those related to the change in my recent trips to the restroom.

She recommended a colonoscopy.

I recently had some blood work done, and noticed my white blood cell count had dropped within the last year from almost 10 (a normal-high reading) to almost 4 (a normal-low reading), so I had a feeling something was going on.

FYI: Low white blood cell counts are often associated with cancer.

I just turned 43 while I had COVID, which is important because colonoscopies aren’t typically recommended until you are 45, unless you are symptomatic.

Given that my doctor was rather quick to recommend the colonoscopy, I followed up on the referral immediately, and insisted on getting the procedure as soon as possible.

I agreed to be available for a cancellation, and even had my doctor call the GI department to get some extra pre-exams waived.

The typical waiting time for a colonoscopy is six to eight weeks, but fortunately I was able to schedule mine within days.

The colonoscopy revealed a cancerous tumor, and a stage three cancer diagnosis.

I’ve started sharing my journey through a YouTube channel and Caring Bridge page for those who care to follow the more granular details, but I wanted to post on this blog here as well because I’ve decided a shift in life requires a shift of perspective in many areas.

You may well notice a shift in my content in the future as well, and references to cancer, so I didn’t want you to be too surprised.

While many people see a cancer diagnosis as terrible, I’m choosing to see this as a spiritual assignment and test.

I’m here for it all!

Sending you all love and good health, my friends.

Let’s do this!