Lessons from the “Before” Trilogy

The truth is that our brains are conditioned to find fault in whatever situation we are in. In psychology this is referred to as negativity bias.
To cope, we create the construct (with our thoughts) that something else (there) is better than what we have (here).

This works for us psychologically because according to Dr.s Lisle and Goldhamer’s Motivational Triad, our brains are motivated to avoid pain, seek pleasure, and conserve energy.

While thinking requires little energy, action requires effort.

So in order to avoid doing things, simply thinking things satisfies our brain.

Further, future-tripping, aka “prospection” allows relief the current situation to “improve psychological well-being.”

So how do we change?

Continue reading

Cancer, WHAT!?

October 2017 I received the worst news of my life. After a year of trying to get pregnant and subsequent fertility treatments, I experienced a miscarriage.

I won’t go into the details of that experience other than to say that I was so embarrassed at the time, that I kept the news a secret.

I went to work the following day and the days following my miscarriage even though on the inside I was a complete wreck.

In the months following, some people close to me shared that they had also been through a miscarriage, and before I knew it people were coming out of the woodwork with their stories.

Looking back I lamented that I’d been so tight-lipped about it, but it also taught me that the next time something significant happened in my life I wouldn’t go through the motions alone.

Symptoms

Back in June of this year, I started noticing that I was having changes in my digestion. While I’m not one to publically share about my bodily functions, let’s just say that things were different, and my usual morning “constitutional” was suddenly not normal.

Please check out the image I’ve included and contact your doctor if you have any of these symptoms.

While I wasn’t initially alarmed, I did think that it was something to speak to my doctor about.

As fate would have it, the beginning of July, even after getting vaccinated, I got COVID.

My doctor asked me about symptoms, and I recalled those related to the virus, as well as those related to the change in my recent trips to the restroom.

She recommended a colonoscopy.

I recently had some blood work done, and noticed my white blood cell count had dropped within the last year from almost 10 (a normal-high reading) to almost 4 (a normal-low reading), so I had a feeling something was going on.

FYI: Low white blood cell counts are often associated with cancer.

I just turned 43 while I had COVID, which is important because colonoscopies aren’t typically recommended until you are 45, unless you are symptomatic.

Given that my doctor was rather quick to recommend the colonoscopy, I followed up on the referral immediately, and insisted on getting the procedure as soon as possible.

I agreed to be available for a cancellation, and even had my doctor call the GI department to get some extra pre-exams waived.

The typical waiting time for a colonoscopy is six to eight weeks, but fortunately I was able to schedule mine within days.

The colonoscopy revealed a cancerous tumor, and a stage three cancer diagnosis.

I’ve started sharing my journey through a YouTube channel and Caring Bridge page for those who care to follow the more granular details, but I wanted to post on this blog here as well because I’ve decided a shift in life requires a shift of perspective in many areas.

You may well notice a shift in my content in the future as well, and references to cancer, so I didn’t want you to be too surprised.

While many people see a cancer diagnosis as terrible, I’m choosing to see this as a spiritual assignment and test.

I’m here for it all!

Sending you all love and good health, my friends.

Let’s do this!

Low Carb vs. Low Fat? Which One Is Right For You?

Are you confused about the right diet for you?

Keto?

Vegan?

WW?

Macros?

There’s a lot out there, but today I’m sharing information that may change your life forever.

In 2018, there was a 12-month study conducted and funded by researchers hoping to prove once and for all that the low carb diet was superior to a low fat diet when it came to weight loss results.

You can read the whole study here.

The results of the study found that “there was no significant difference in weight change between a healthy low-fat diet vs a healthy low-carbohydrate diet,” and that adherence was the greater determining factor in weight loss success.

So if it doesn’t matter which diet you follow, how do you decide which one is right for you?

First off, think about the diet that you want to be on.

You may say none, but let’s be real, in order to lose weight you must be in a caloric deficit, so you are going to have to change something.

Of all the things you could change, what are most willing to change?

When you think about your future– what appeals to you more?

Can you give up bread forever?

Are you willing to track your food?

What is the plan you are willing to follow– not just today, but one, five, ten years down the road?

The problem many people create is that they select a plan they can follow for a brief period of time to get quick results (a’ la HCG diet), but then once the diet is over, there is no sustainable way to maintain their weight loss.

The fastest way to lose weight is actually the slowest way to lose weight.

Losing half a pound per week on a sustainable plan is far superior to losing five pounds in a week, and then having no idea how to keep it off.

So let me tell you how you decide.

You choose.

You try.

You revise as neessary.

Many clients come to me totally capable of sticking to a plan six days a week, but when they get to Saturday they seem to go off the rails. Often times this isn’t because they are on the wrong plan, it’s because their head isn’t in the game.

If you want to go from being someone who is on a diet to someone who gets to get goal weight, then finding the plan you can stick with for good, AND being willing to do the (mindset) work to create consistent results is all you need to finally get to your goal.

Stop Losing Your S%!+ With Food!

Let’s be honest, if you’re like most of Americans, you are so excited about the 4th because finally you get to eat (or drink) your favorite treats that you only have once a year.

For many of us, it’s been more than a year since we’ve had a proper 4th, so I know where your brain is!

Now I want you to think about what would happen if you stuck perfectly to your meal plan all day long.

You may be thinking, Bo-Ring, right?

Now what if I told you to make your plan AND include your favorite thing.

What would happen?

Most likely you’d lose weight, and if you didn’t, you’d have a little blip on the scale and be back to normal in a day or two, right?

So, if we can enjoy our favorite things and still get results, why don’t we?

Because our brains are in the habit of telling us that if we’ve made a “mistake” on our plan, that the whole day is ruined.

But here’s the trick– including a treat on your plan, is still sticking to your plan.

In fact, when you have a plan that includes a treat and you DON’T have the treat, then you are OFF your plan (say whaaaatttt!!!!!??????)

What if this 4th of July, you didn’t make your favorite treat a catastrophe, and just treated it like a sneeze- here and then gone. What results could you create then?

So, here is my challenge to you, my Rebel…

This 4th of July I want you to include a treat of your choice on your plan. I don’t care if it’s two glasses of wine and five cupcakes. Think about what would be enjoyable for you.

What is the choice you will have wish you had made Monday morning?

Write out your plan TODAY!

Then I want you to post a pic of you enjoying your treat on Instagram and tag me @weight_loss-rebel so I can celebrate with you!

You’ll be celebrating, too because when you challenge yourself to try something new, you create a new version of yourself.

You become the woman who does what she says she will do– she is the woman who crushes goals!

So go create! And have a great 4th!

If you need some extra support on figuring out how to manage the day with a treat, check out my Special Occassion Solution, which will give you step-by-step instructions for how to break down your day into small, manageable parts.

If you love this idea and you’d like more, then join my free Facebook Group, Weight Loss Rebels here.

And hey, if you want to make the cake in this photo, check out my Insta post here for instructions.

My Secret to Losing Weight Even On The Weekend

As things are beginning to open up, I wanted to give you some tips on how to lose weight even on the weekend. WHAT!!!???? YES!!!!!!

As you can see, I am a girl who likes to sample some cocktails, and this weekend is no different because tomorrow I am going to a whiskey tasting- yay!

Now, if you’re anything like me, you know what it’s like to go to an event, drink some alcohol, and then subsequently eat ALL THE FOOD! Can you relate?

But the older I get, the more I hate waking up with a food or alcohol hangover, so this is what I do to set myself up to feel amazing on Sunday morning, instead of feeling like I want to lay in bed and order donuts from DoorDash.

Step 1: Decide on the results you want NOW!

How do you want it to go?
You can lose weight, gain weight, maintain weight– all are options. But what is the result YOU want to create? If you want to lose weight then keep reading…

Step 2: Make Your Plan NOW!

What plan do you need to have in place to stick with your goals?

For my plan, I will limit my tasting to three oz of alcohol and pre-log my food.

If you’re planning a food treat, pre-log it now and fill in the rest of your day with healthier choices.

Step 3: Remember That You and In Control, Not the Food.

My friend, you are always in control, not the food, not the booze.

If you’re in the habit of binge eating after consuming food that you usually don’t have, then listen up!

That voice in the back of your head that’s telling you to eat all the things…
THAT’S NOT YOU!

As Glenn Livingston, PhD likes to say, that’s your PIG– it’s your bad habit, wild animal, junkyard dog, lizard brain, whatever you want to call it.

Name it and separate it. Those delusional thoughts have no place in the mind of a badass rebel.

When you hear it chirping in your ear to overeat or have something that’s not part of the plan, you chirp right back at it!

Brain says “You ate that donut, and even though I know you planned for it, you may as well just keep going because that’s what you do on days off, right?”

You say: “No, Satan (or whatever you may call your brain on auto-pilot). That’s not part of my plan! I made a decision in advance to have this treat, now step aside while I shimmy into my skinny jeans.

Every time you talk back to that inner misleading voice and stick with your plan, you create the possibility of even more success in the future.

There you have it! Now you have all you need for you weekend of success!

How to Rewire Your Brain to Quit Overeating (like a badass)

If you’ve been overeating for years- or even decades- you may be skeptical that rewiring your brain to quit overeating is even impossible. But it absolutely is.

Overeating is first off an action.

When we overeat, it is often in response to a feeling (discomfort, anxiety, anger, impatience, frustration, inadequacy, excitement, etc).

While feelings themselves are harmless- they are just vibrations in your body– if you haven’t spent time learning to allow feelings to exist without stuffing food on top of them, then you may be overeating in response to any emotion, whether it’s negative or even positive.

When it comes to emotions or feelings, a lot of people think that they emerge from people or life events outside of you- your husband, kids not doing their homework, mother-in-law is too demanding, your boss talks down to you– all likely the culprits, right?

Or are they?

The truth is, everything these people do or say has little to do with our feelings, but how we process what they do or say has EVERYTHING to do with our feelings.

Have you ever told someone a story that really enraged you, and they responded with little or no reaction, so you explain more, so they get how “bad” the situation really is?

That, my friend, is your story.

Anything more than facts is your story.

We think our stories are facts, but actually, our stories are the mechanisms we use to justify our feelings and actions.

How does this relate to overeating?

Because overeating starts in the mind way before you’re in line at the drive-thru.

Think about it like this: when you want to lose weight, and you start your day off with your lunch packed, it’s not because you’re planning to ditch it at some point in lieu of McDonald’s right?

You pack your lunch because you told yourself (maybe the night before) that you want to eat a healthy lunch that will help you lose weight.

So where’s the gap between between the healthy lunch and the drive-thru?

Let’s say it’s your boss.

She emails you that some work you’ve done needs revisions within 15 minutes. She is energized and as soon as you receive her email she calls you to make sure you saw the email.

You can see her email and phone call as intrusive, demanding, outrageous, or even offensive.

What if you knew just prior to her email, she was informed of a last-minute change that she had to do, and was so rattled for her meeting she needed you to make the correction because you are the most reliable person on your team.

Pretty different story, eh?

Now, you may be protesting that you know that wasn’t why your boss came to you, but notice how your thoughts change.

When we change our thoughts, we show up for life differently.

So when a situations emerges that may be triggering, ask yourself, how can I show up for this in my life and still get results?

Get curious.

Be like a nosy neighbor– be up in your own business.

Great questions inspire us to find a better outcome for ourselves, instead of allowing our brain to run it’s default programming.

This is important because your default programming (aka habits) will tell you to do what you’ve always done– assume your boss is taking advantage of you, feel angry and resentful, and therefore eat a venti Starbucks cup filled with peanut m&ms (not that I’m speaking from experience— *clears throat* 😉

But next time you are in that situation remember…

The keys to rewiring your brain to quit overeating are:

(1) Hit the pause button— maybe even say outloud “STOP” as soon as you notice uncomfortable feelings surface.

(2) Before leaping out of your chair to the pantry you ask yourself “what would a badass woman who shows up big in her life do in this situation?”

When you ask yourself powerful questions, your brain gets to work on powerful solutions.

So what do you do?

My first response is “a badass woman who shows up big in her life just takes care of business. She gets the job done, and doesn’t let a moment of feeling weird about an email derail efforts she is committed to.”

What is your response?

(3) Follow the badass– she always knows best.

Notice how thinking about it from this perspective puts you in the driver seat.

It puts you in the place of power.

When you are in the power, you decide exactly how you show up in EVERY area of life.

If this is work you want to do more of and you need help, click here to schedule your free solution session with me.

How to Ditch Scale Fears

I used to really struggle with getting on the scale.

I was afraid it would give me bad news.

I thought of the scale as the enemy when I gained weight and my bestie when I lost.

I noticed that there were times I was doing everything right, yet the scale didn’t seem to budge. Sometimes it even went up!

What was I doing wrong?

What I was doing wrong was thinking that weight loss was linear and that if I did “everything right” that every day the scale should go down.

Here’s the truth: we all have human bodies and our weight fluctuates from day-to-day.

Even when you’re doing all the right things, weight can fluctuate due to:

  • Female cycles
  • Eating salt
  • Constipation
  • Stress
  • Inadequate Sleep
  • Hormonal Changes

Knowing this, I was able to shift my internal dialogue from:

  • I’ll always be fat!
  • This is never going to work!
  • I hate myself!

All thoughts that kept me stuck because they created terrible results (binge eating, going off track, throwing in the towel– can you relate?)

But those weren’t the results I wanted, so I had to shift my thinking to focus on what I wanted to create:

  • I’m committed to this process and accept fluctuations as part of my journey
  • I’m willing to stick with my plan even when the scale fluctuates
  • This goal matters to me, so I’m staying committed.

By shifting my perspective, I was able to allow fluctuations without making them mean anything.

If you have noticed that you self sabotage when you get on the scale I can help! Click here to schedule a breakthrough session with me.

Are You Gambling With Your Weight Loss?

On Valentine’s Day I bought everyone on my team a lottery ticket.

We were already planning to do a cute card exchange a-la third grade, but I thought it would be fun to throw a lotto ticket in their basket, too.

The whole day there was a buzz about the tickets!

  • What people would do if they won?
  • How many people lose their lotto winnings?
  • The likelihood of winning the lotto versus getting struck by lightning, etc.

Here’s the interesting thing– we all know the chances of winning the lottery are ridiculously slim, yet still we play anyway.

It got me thinking about weight loss.

Somebody’s gotta win! We tell ourselves when we play the lotto.

The diet version of that phrase therefore has to be It worked for Sharon! (or name of other co-worker/random person on Instagram).

One thing I see a lot in my practice is women hopping from diet to diet because they think that the next one will be the magic bullet that they will suddenly stick with for good.

In my weight loss master class, I explain that all diets work because they create a caloric deficit, but that the diet you should choose is the one that fits your life.

What if you believed me?

Let’s say instead of playing the lotto quick picks, I was actually giving you the winning numbers, all you had to do was patiently keep playing them?

Here’s the good news– I am!

When clients work with me, the first thing we determine is how to create a deficit while eating as much as they can so they can get results for good.

They are successful because they commit to the process instead of hopping from plan-to-plan, and therefore lose weight.

If you’ve been gambling with your weight loss and randomly throwing your keto-friendly spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks, wouldn’t you rather go all-in on what you know is scientifically proven to create results?

I would!

Join me on this journey by scheduling your free breakthrough session with me, where we will uncover how to switch your journey from trying quick picks to playing only the winning numbers.